I remember returning from school at the age of 8, one day. My mother could tell that I was having a bad day. She called me over and in that soothing voice and reassuring African accent, she encouraged me to take a seat on her laps. " Sit here" She began. "When I feel bad about something, guess what I do?" I looked up at her. "What mummy?" "I play dress up!" She gave me a few of her huge plastic 80's earrings and matching bracelets that were clearly too big for my wrists. It was quite fun. She started to load my neck with tons of beads, as she did the same for herself. When we were done, she took my bangle laden hands, looked me in the eyes and said, "If you ever feel bad, just dress up. You will always feel better"

Over 30 years later, her words resonate in my head. This time I am older. This trick still works. How many times do you wallow in self pity? We all feel bad from time to time.Oftentimes, we fall into a rut that keeps us frustrated and feeling defeated. I believe that dressing up on the outside has a positive effect on the self esteem. You could use jewelry of clothes to "dress up" Anything that puts you in the mindset of change and enhancing your look. It is a sort of psychological transition. One of my coaching clients asked me "Well, what if I don't like how I look with my clothes or jewelry?" The fact is, YOU know what your best features or traits are. When you are "dressing up" to counter the feeling of defeat or need to wallow in self pity, that is the time to dig deeper and try to transcend those thoughts. Find what you like about yourself and enhance that feature. Like your hair? Wear nice hair bows or ribbons. Like your neckline? Wear your best collar necklace.
Be deliberate about your self esteem if you can help it. Remember it is up to YOU to make it a great day




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