When I read Suzy Menkes’ “The Circus of Fashion” last night, myinitialthoughts were, where has this woman been and whydoesn’tshe make a day time reality show about thisnonsensethat is becoming the fashion world? The amount of factual evidence was quite bombarding to my chai tea Saturday evening aura but I could hardly argue. Fashion week this year was less about the collections and more about what the ‘famous’ bloggers were wearing as they hopped out of their black Lincolns. Im sureyou’vemildly noticed (mildly if only you do not have internet) that there are always certain bloggers crowding the gateways of the Lincoln Center and that they are perpetually identical in styling and blogging persona. There must be some sort of trick, right? Well, there is. There are a few tricks, actually.
Step Number One:
Review things you hate: A company wants you to wear or review their product. Instead of saying that you dont like it (because ew, that neon coat is disturbing) you totally accept the gift and wear it in just a few of your posts, happy to announce where it is gifted from in small subtext at the end of your paragraph. Chic.
Step Number Two:
Become a sheep: Lose your own personal style. What is it good for?Absolutelynothing! Forget the fact that you would rather wear pearls than galaxy pants and get on that band wagon. No one wants to see you being all Kelly Clarkson Independent. Thats so early 2000’s. (Besides, we all like Lana now anyway)
Step Number Three:
Throw out after wear: Goodness, you expect to get noticed wearing that same pair of denim skinnies? Its obvious they are the same. We have all seen the back pockets and that little teeny tear at the knee. There is shopping to be done. Every single day. Ever heard of thrifting? They take jeans that are worn. Get rid of them. You have events to attend.
Step Number Four:
Create the perfect about me :
Example: “Hello fashionistas. Im an attractive eighteen to twenty six year old with an endless closet, possibleAsiangenetic makeup and a slightly made up first name. I just made this blog two months ago and im already being picked as Cosmo’s beauty favorite. You may notice that all of my photos are taken to look like fashion editorials. (My boyfran is a profesh) You can catch me throwing mugs of coffee in my red bottoms and accidentally flashing the tag of my faux fur. If anything is older than last year, well, then its obviously vintage! I love collecting vintage! Oh and if you see me out, ill most likely be throwing a cheeky smile over my shoulder and winking at my boy.
You get the point, right?
Let’s hope so. Because not getting it is so Chanel Resort 2008.
PS: SEE YOU AT FASHION WEEK BITCHES!